Sports commentary: Just thoughts

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Cleaning out the old coconut

By Mike Forster


Allow me to use this space to declutter the old coconut.  I've had the following thoughts bouncing around my bean, though none merited a full column.  You, valued reader, may deem them of no merit at all!


I know I'm weighing in late on this whole deal with the (soon to be former) owner of the L.A. Clippers.  That's the price of working for a weekly periodical.  

Still, I wish the NBA was as severe on other transgressions as it is on racism.

In fact, on the same day that this Sterling fellow's lifetime banishment from the league was announced (for his recorded racially revolting rants), the NBA announced another penalty.  Dallas Maverick DeJuan Blair was nailed for kicking Tiago Splitter in the head, when Splitter fell to the court during a game.  Blair was suspended a (as in one) single game for his transgression.


I've heard a number of folks intone that Sterling can't "be the face of the NBA" when he holds the views that he does.

What I've not heard is anyone mention why it is not OK for him to have a mistress.  That fact is kind of a big factor in all of this mess.


Speaking of adulterers, I'm unclear where Kobe Bryant comes off as a beacon of moral turpitude, being one of the first to demand Silver's head.

Not for adultery, of course. 


So, to summarize, in the NBA the following penalty guidelines exist:

-Being a racist:  Banishment for life, $2.5 million fine.

-Kicking people in the head:  One-game suspension.

-Adultery:  Zippo. 


Oh, if you happen to be 80 years old and a 30-year-old vixen seems smitten with you, chances are she's had a peek at your bank balance.

This was a gross mismatch that was doomed to end badly.  This guy was no Hef.

The French have a formula for matters of the heart.  You should not date anyone who is younger than:

(Your age/2) + 7

So, if you are 40, you shouldn't date anyone younger than 27 (40/2 +7).

If you're 80, you should stay away from those under the age of 47, especially if they own a recording device.


Moving on to other topics, it has become clear that the field for the Kentucky Derby is just too darn large.

This year's gaggle had 20 entrants, many of which could be heard oinking as they ran 'round Churchill Downs.

With that large a field, too many contenders get boxed out and too many nags are doing the boxing.

I believe a couple of said slowpokes are still trying to finish the race.


I'm pretty certain the folks who schedule Sunday night baseball for ESPN are not aware of the fact there are some pretty good teams not named Yankees or Red Sox.

I wonder, if ESPN headquarters weren't so closely sited to New Yawk or Beantown, we might be seeing more of teams such as the Tigers, A's or Brewers.


We're less than a fifth of the way through the MLB season, and it's safe to state that there are three teams that are already out of the playoff hunt.  It deeply saddens me that my Cubbies join the Astros and Diamondbacks in bearing that dubious distinction.


I have never seen an NHL playoff season which has generated as little interest and enthusiasm as has this year's.

I'm wondering if there isn't one owner of a playoff team willing to go on tape with a racist rant.  

While inadvertent, that faux pas seemed to have worked for the NBA.  Folks are suddenly catching NBA playoff fever.

C'mon, admit it.  Prior to the Sterling affair, you didn't even know that the Clippers were in the playoffs (if you even knew that LA had an NBA team besides the Lakers).