Sports Day-ly: Key West and the Cat Man

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By Denton Day

By: Denton Day
Sports Editor

So right off the bat let’s just address the title of this. I’m sure, “Key West and the cat man” might sound like a weird murder-mystery novel or something of the sort. But I assure you–at least to the best of my knowledge–no one involved in this story has any history of murder.

There is however, a bit of mystery and confusion.

This past weekend my family and I took a vacation to Key West, Florida. It was a short vacation, about four days, but a vacation nonetheless. It was my first real vacation as an actual adult so I was looking forward to spending some quality time on a beach.

For starters, despite the fact that Key West is literally an island off the coast of Florida there are very few actual beaches. And the few beaches that do exist are not cheap nor do they favor individuals without cars–which we did not have.

However, the downtown area was supposedly poppin’ day and night, rain or shine. The hotel we stayed at offered a shuttle that would take residents to and from the downtown area.

On the first night–and really every other night–we took advantage of the shuttle service for dinner. My family doesn’t do chain restaurants on vacation, because honestly what’s the point of eating at a chain restaurant on vacation, so we searched for some local color. After around 15 minutes of searching for a place to eat–it was about 15 minutes too long, I was hungry–we found a nice Mexican restaurant.

At the conclusion of our meal we decided to walk around a little bit and do some exploring of what Key West’s downtown area had to offer. There was supposedly a really good spot to see the sunset by the water that we wanted to go check out.

On our way over there we spot a massive crowd of people gathered around the area we were headed towards. At first we thought it was just to see the sunset but we soon realized that in that same area is where a lot of street performers camp out to earn themselves some money.

Growing up in the Washington D.C metro area and being fortunate enough to be able to travel to New York City multiple times and New Orleans for Mardi Gras once I’ve have seen our fair share of street performers. However, none of those cities prepared me for Cat Man.

We knew nothing of this man beforehand but he had a huge crowd and it was right near the best spot to catch the sunset so it was the perfect storm for entertainment of sorts.

As a family we quickly realized the Cat Man was more weird than entertaining. He had about 10 or so cages behind him all filled with cats and in front of him he had four large stands that looked like they were apart of a drum set.

He requested some volunteers and gathered up five children from his audience, which consisted of close to 150 people. The children stood shoulder to shoulder in the middle of the stands and the cat was going to climb up and jump over them, like a much less dangerous Evel Knievel.

In general is seemed that a majority of his act was just to be a weird person. Constantly shouting things that didn’t really make sense or were in a different language. It was pretty clear he wasn’t from America. My guess is that he was from Western Europe but that’s just a guess.

Anyway, the cat cleared the jump no problem about three or four times. Everyone cheered and he went to go celebrate with the cat. Only instead of celebrating like a normal person the Cat Man lifted the cat’s tail and shouted into the cat’s anus.

My brother and I exchanged the, “Did you just see what I just saw,” look. In utter disbelief we continued to watch as the Cat Man again lifted the cat’s tail and yelled into the anus of the cat, FIVE MORE TIMES.

The man showed absolutely no fear of pink eye and had absolutely no regard for common normality.

There is so much mystery surrounding him. Who is he? Why did he do what he did? And hundreds of other questions.

We left quickly after and headed back to our hotel. Soon after I became aware of the fact that the Cat Man is famous for being weird, you can find videos of him on YouTube. It might not be a video of him yelling into a cat’s anus but it will be videos of him just being an all-around weird individual.

The rest of the trip was good but still nothing sticks out as much as the Cat Man, which is a credit to his performance. I’m perfectly content with the idea of me never seeing one of his performances his again but I still recommend seeing him to anyone that has plans of traveling to Key West anytime soon.

It just seems like if you’re there you have to see him at some point. If nothing else, see him just to cross it off your bucket list.