Would You Rather? Sports Edition

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By Denton Day

I’m a big fan of games. Which is good considering games are a rather large portion of sports and I cover sports for a living.

But not all games are directly related to sports. Some games are purely fun, some games are slightly dangerous and some are both.

Today we’re going to play a game that is both. This game can be abbreviated into a three letter acronym that really gets people’s brains going. Don’t worry its not that three letter acronym, this game is called “Would you rather.”

The game is pretty simple. I’m going give you a few options of a situation and you choose which one you would want to be in. But because you’re not here I’m going to give my answer and you can follow along and let me know what you would pick and why either on social media (@Denton_Day) or via email (sports@bedfordbulletin.com).

Would you rather take a fastball from Stephen Strasburg or a slap shot from Alex Ovechkin to the chest?

So first and foremost there are some ground rules for this one. You are not dodging this, it will hit you. But don’t worry it will hit you in the chest not the head–this significantly lowers the chances of death. You also have one piece of chest protection on, but its small.

Regardless of which one you pick you will likely find yourself visiting the emergency room because of that selection. Personally, I’m not a fan of the emergency room. I’ve only been once and that is because the tip of my middle finger was essentially amputated–have fun picturing that–and the doctors had to put it back together.

I’m going to pick the fastball from Strasburg in this situation and there are a couple reasons why. A baseball is 5.25 ounces while a hockey puck is six ounces. I’m not a genius, but you don’t have to be a genius to recognize that, that plays a role in pain at the point of impact.

Also Ovechkin has the capability to fire a slapshot over 100 miles per hour. Strasburg’s typical fastball is in the 90s but it is not consistently around 100 miles per hour.

So I’ll take the fastball.

Would you rather work for Jerry Jones, Dan Gilbert or James Dolan?

This is a tough one. Jerry Jones is the owner of the Dallas Cowboys, Dan Gilbert is the owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers and James Dolan is the owner of the New York Knicks.

To start we’re going to cross Dan Gilbert’s name off, I’m not working for him. Gilbert made national news in 2010 when LeBron James announced he would be leaving the Cavaliers and taking his talents to South Beach.

James was the best player in Cavaliers history and made them legitimate contenders for the NBA Championship, taking them there by himself in 2007.

In Gilbert’s letter he stated that the Cavaliers would win the NBA Championship before the Miami Heat–led by James, Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh who are all future Hall of Famers. Spoiler alert, they did not.

That letter proves that Gilbert either has ridiculous optimism or is as close to clinically insane as possible without being diagnosed. The latter seems more realistic.

The way Dolan handled the Charles Oakley situation and the Phil Jackson debacle was a major turnoff for me. Dolan also kind of seems like a guy who would stick a fork onto your plate to try your food without asking. That would not go over well.

As much as it hurts me I’m going to pick Jerry Jones. Jones is the most famous owner in all of professional sports–which at times is a terrible thing.

But to his credit he really loves to win. He showed that last year by not butting into the coaches decision of whether or not to give Tony Romo his job back midway through the season. Dak Prescott had played fantastic and led the Cowboys to the best record in the NFC, Romo was Jones’ golden boy. He easily could have forced the Cowboys to play Romo but didn’t.

Jerry Jones also has established a grand disliking for Roger Goodell. I equally have a rather large disliking for Goodell so that’s a plus.

Who would you rather guard for a regulation NBA game? Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant or LeBron James?

This is not a one play thing, this is the entire game. In the locker room while going over the game plan the coach explicitly assigns you the job of shadowing one of these players for the entire game.

I’m going to slightly cheat a little bit here and give myself and extra eight inches of height so I now stand 6’5” for this question. Simply put, my 5’9” self would surrender 250 points to each of these guys in a regulation NBA game. Now that I’m 6’5” I at least have some shot of keeping them under triple-digit scoring for the night.

I think I’m going to take LeBron James for this one. Both Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant are known for being ruthless killers on the court. Bryant once scored 81 points in a single game and he was being guarded by people that actually play basketball for a living, which I do not. So I want no part of that.

James is very much a pass first player. He has described himself as such on multiple occasions. So I have the idea that once he scored 60 points on me in the first half that in the second half he will likely get his teammates involved.

There is still a high likelihood that he’ll surpass the 100 point barrier with me defending him but at least he won’t do it in the first half like the other two would.

So that will be it for this edition of Would You Rather. If you have any questions you would like me to cover in the next edition of the game or if you have any answers from this weeks edition you want to pass my way please do so.